Making Your Relationship Better: Makes Your Ministry Better!Your Past: How It Can Destroy Your Present Relationship
Written by Anthony Small
Who we have become today has everything to do with all the experiences, good or bad, that we have had in the past. The number one problem with this is that it is not easy to forget the bad relationships we've had in the past and sometimes it will come up in your present relationship and you don't even realize it. A few examples are:
1. Your past partner may have been unfaithful so you think that if your current partner has to stay late at the office, they are using that as an excuse to see someone else. If you call them on their cell phone and they don't call you back in 15 minutes you may feel that they are doing something they shouldn't be doing. You might even find yourself going as far as going through their wallet or clothing.
2. Your past relationship may have played mind games, so you now have the mentality that it is important that you be one step ahead of your new spouse or partner and play mind games with them, before they have a chance (so you think) to play mind games with you.
1. Your past partner may have been unfaithful so you think that if your current partner has to stay late at the office, they are using that as an excuse to see someone else. If you call them on their cell phone and they don't call you back in 15 minutes you may feel that they are doing something they shouldn't be doing. You might even find yourself going as far as going through their wallet or clothing.
2. Your past relationship may have played mind games, so you now have the mentality that it is important that you be one step ahead of your new spouse or partner and play mind games with them, before they have a chance (so you think) to play mind games with you.
3. In your past relationship, your ex may have used personal information you gave them throughout the relationship against you, so when your new spouse or partner asks you normal everyday getting to know you questions, you think they are gathering information to use against you somewhere down the road so you develop trust issues.
4. Your past relationship made you feel insecure about yourself, so you feel that every person of the opposite sex that your partner walks by is someone they would rather be with than you.
Do you see how these things can destroy a new relationship before it even gets started? Especially if your new partner came to you with 100% true intentions from the beginning and just wants to have a loving, peaceful, no drama relationship with you. There are people who have hurt you so bad in the past that when your current partner says or does anything similar to what that person said or did to you, it triggers memories of that past relationship and you now react as if you were still in that old relationship.
Romans 12:2 says..."be transformed by the renewing of your mind..." The way you overcome your past is to do as the scripture says which is to renew your mind. It is imperative that you pray and ask God help you in this area, because only God can help you overcome deep rooted hurts and experiences from past relationships. Also, communicate with your partner. Let them know that it is difficult to let go of your past, but with their support you are willing to take the necessary steps to work through this issue with their support so that you both can have a happy relationship rooted in God's love and forgiveness.